Alright everyone!! I am soo excited to start this blog! I have wanted to start one for quite some time but due to my perfectionist personality, which I constantly attempt to keep at bay like a fire that strives to rage despite firefighters efforts to squelch it, I have hesitated in starting it feeling like it was essential that my first post is so FANTASTIC that it blows everyone out of the water. Basically I decided I'd better just start it and eventually one of my blog posts will be meaningful and help some person with whatever they struggle with :). I love life! I love sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Fantasy Marriage

I am so happy to be writing agaaaaaiiinnnn!!!!!! I have been thinking so much about posts I want to write and I am really happy to finally be writing about one.

So many people make marriage look really hard. They tell each other what to do constantly, they make fun of each or speak critically of one another in public. They are never to be seen being affectionate with each other. They don't even seem to regard each other as even friends would. I think this is the ultimate tragedy.

For me, my biggest wildest dream is to be married to someone and have an amazing relationship. And although some people speak on about the difficulty of marriage and seem to express as the defining characteristic that it is just a big struggle, I believe in what some people may call a fantasy marriage. I believe in a marriage where critical/intentionally hurtful/ negative comments are never said. I believe in a marriage where you still talk like you used to. Share things with each other, your opinions and ideas and passions. I believe in flirting and playing. I believe in all forms of physical intimacy in beautiful frequency beyond the first few years. I believe in being together because you want to be and not because you had some crazy young idea to promise you always would be. I believe in always being willing to give the other person what they want over my desires and trying hardest to meet their needs over my whims. I believe in being respectful and putting in effort every day. I believe in not expecting the emotion of love to always be there but to chose to give love through action nonetheless. I believe in an amazing marriage. I believe that it is possible if we want it bad enough. Call me naive but where will our marriages be as a people if we have expectations that are low? That we will be selfish every once and a while and that we may someday not be affectionate and that we may get sick of each other and not try as hard to love each other. If that is the goal we expect we'd better believe our marriages will fall into that state. And maybe sooner than we would have hoped. But I believe in fantasty. I believe in striving every day to do what God wants me to do and to make my man feel like the most loved most cherished most respected biggest priority to me and main focus of my efforts. Call me crazy call me an idealist but I believe in a fantasy marriage. I think we are capable of a lot more in our relationships than we may think we are. Sooo many people get married. Why would they do it if it was just going to end up sucking? I think it's not supposed to be terrible its supposed to be wonderful and if two people try hard enough I believe it will be. You have to be willing to change, to grow to be humble, to give and give and give without the stipulation of receiving. and honestly, the way I plan to have the strength and ability to have this kind of amazing relationship is to rely on Christ. I can do a really great job with my own self control on occasion and I am really good at being a loving selfless person sometimes but only through Christ will I be able to be the best wife/girlfriend I can be! That is the AMAZING thing about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because Christ has all power and has suffered for our sins he can change us. He can bless us with the grace to be the kind of people we want to be!!! I have experienced this and it is oh so sweet. I know Christ has the ability to change me. And he shall sit as a arefiner and purifier of silver Malachi (3:3). And he will make our weaknesses strengths if we rely on him because his grace is sufficient for us if we humble ourselves and have faith in him (Ether 12:27). To me THIS is one of the most glorious things about the gospel of Jesus Christ. The grace to be the kind of person I want to to be able to love the people I want to love and serve them with my whole heart and soul. I am so so so excited to strive for this goal of a fantasy marriage every day of my life! And I should probably start practicing on my siblings, companions, friends and enemies :) Love to you all!!!


  1. I love it! I've always been afraid of getting married... and I'd get super angry when my friends would get married, because I've been in one abusive relationship after another. The second to last relationship I had, I was so in love with the him. I wanted to marry him... and he was good to me at first. But then a few months passed by... and I noticed the control he had over me. But I'd ignore it. He would control the way I looked, acted, where I went, what I did, what I said, and told me horrible things like I was stupid, and that I wasn't really that pretty. So after he broke up with me... I got into another relationship where the guy never told me he loved me and completely ignored me. And even in high school I had boyfriends cheat on me. So that's where my hatred of relationships come from... and I had this great fear of ever getting married. Cause what if... it's like my past relationships? Great at first, but then later it just gets ugly?
    I know I probably dated some jerks and not all men are like that. But McCall your post helped me have some hope that I can find a man who is willing to work in a relationship equally with me. I also realized what I want in a relationship. I want a relationship and a marriage like your fantasy marriage idea. And despite my experiences, I have hope it'll happen. THANK YOU MCCALL! Your post renewed my hope in a successful relationship... and I will not stop until I find a relationship that fulfills the amazing criteria you posted... to sacrifice, humble yourselves, to give without the stipulation of receiving, and to rely on Christ. :)

  2. McCall! You are NOT naive! Fantasy marriages are SO REAL! I promise you that because I am in one! And believe me, we are so, so, so flawed. But our marriage isn't. And that's because of everything you said in this post: we put our faith in Christ, build our marriage upon the teachings of Christ, and strive daily to grow closer to Christ individually and as a couple. One thing the sealer told us on our wedding day was that we need to continually seek to fall more in love with each other in the same way Christ loves us. He has a perfect love and we need to achieve that in our relationships too. I love this post and I love you! Believe me girl, if you do all this and you know the man you marry is dedicated to doing these things as well, you WILL have a fantasy marriage!

  3. Oh my gosh Laura I am speachless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That post made me so so happy I can't even tell you how happy it makes me that it helped you!!

  4. OH MY GOOOSHHHH LIIIIIIZZZ you are an angel. I love you SO much. Thank you so so so much for your testimony about this topic!!

  5. UPDATE: I have it!!! I have a fantasy marriage. It is the most wonderful thing in my life. I was speaking to a young man I met about marriage and I got goose bumps all over while I was telling him how great it is and this is not an uncommon thing for when I talk about my marriage!