Alright everyone!! I am soo excited to start this blog! I have wanted to start one for quite some time but due to my perfectionist personality, which I constantly attempt to keep at bay like a fire that strives to rage despite firefighters efforts to squelch it, I have hesitated in starting it feeling like it was essential that my first post is so FANTASTIC that it blows everyone out of the water. Basically I decided I'd better just start it and eventually one of my blog posts will be meaningful and help some person with whatever they struggle with :). I love life! I love sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Have you lost weight? You look GREAT!

The following post was inspired by the article found at this URL

At a period in my life when I was in the midst of a terrible eating disorder and had lost a significant amount of body mass maaaany people would comment on the weight I lost and how I looked great. I remember specifically someone close to me, an older man said to me after not seeing me for a year or so how great I looked. At that time I was probably in the part of my eating disorder where I was eating a very inadequate amount of calories each day, suffering from depression, severe anxiety and the lowest of low self esteem. I was absolutely miserable. My entire life every second of every day revolved around my desire to become thinner. This comment along with the others reaffirmed my false belief that extremely skinny is superior to other sizes and reaffirmed how important it was for me to continue losing mass. I do not blame these people at all AND I am not saying that they meant or even inferred those things but because of my psychologically unhealthy state of mind, that is how I took it. What I would like to get across is to be aware when we give "compliments" like this to people that we are aware of what kind of state that person may be in. For some people it is just an "oh yeah thanks I finally found a lifestyle that is more in line with healthy living" but for many people these compliments reconfirm very harmful false ideas and mentalities.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Reality in Weakness

You want to know why I LOVE THIS?! Suffering from OCD, eating disorders, depression, abuse ANYTHING is so much worse because of the isolation. I think a HUGE thing that contributes to the isolation is the stigma against weakness. Everyone wants everyone else to think they are perfect. We all struggle and if we would be COMPLETELY open about it then wow look how much comfort and companionship we would find and enjoy which would be a GREAT facilitator of positive change!!!! If you are suffering now and aren't open about it I understand. I've been there. I want us to change the environment we live in to be accepting of REALITY, accepting of mental illness and weaknesses and the need for therapy, medication ETC. So it is easier for us who are struggling to be open and seek help because we know it is NORMAL to be messed up :) I have a dream for this world. I will work to make it a reality :)

Down to a Science

I LOVE THIS LADY'S POST!!!!!! She is in recovery from an eating disorder. What I am thinking now is how amazingly distinctly (I don't want to say similar because I feel like it is an understatement, I would venture to say exact) exact different people's experiences with eating disorders are. If that makes sense, what I am saying is that eating disorders are so similar if not exact. The thoughts, the feelings, the motivations and how the eating disorder interacts and controls us is SO SO SO exactly the same. This is a testimony to me of the devil. An eating disorder is so so perfectly calculated to be so debilitating in every way that it just has to be designed and calculated. It is. I very strongly believe it is. We loose 100% of the battles we don't know we are fighting. Ladies and Gentlemen we are fighting a battle with the devil over our happiness, self esteem and peace. Recognizing when it is him and finding the falseness we are living by is the purpose of the kind of therapy I support and LOVE AND WOULD NOT BE WHERE I AM WITHOUT IT!! :) I love you all and I hope that if you think about what your body looks like or what food you eat/don't eat more than 10% of the day you may be being lied to my the great deceiver himself. If so talk to me or someone you love about it please. You can be WAY happier than you are now. Life in recovery from and eating disorder is OH so sweet :)